Just wanted to have this email to remind me of Kim's problems with me.  I came to understand, forgive and have compassion for her.  I walked in her shoes....... she left her paradise island, where she could work, was paid to live in paradise - for a man.  "Romantically" they took off for "armpit" Alberta.  All flat, uninspiring with a small wall for her paintings.  No wonder SHE was envious of me.  My mother was dying of stomach cancer, on palliative chemo, I was her primary caregiver 24/7, had left my life completely to care for my mum in her final year - I understand why Kim was so envious of me.  Who wouldn't be with the life I had in 2012-13. 

Her email to me underlines everything she misses and gave up.  She's sarcastic and mean spirited - just as she was the entire year of my Mum's illness.  I'll never understand her cruelty and that's okay - it just means that I could never ever think or behave like her.




Hilary,
I am not mad at you and never have been. I am your friend and always will be. I have one rule: Anyone who "un-friends" me on fb, I "block". The people who have unfriended me in the past are still really close with me in real life, just not on Facebook anymore. It seems to work.

Life changed for me when I moved here. No more sauntering around the forests, endless days in the studio and catching the sunsets and being miss social. It was like I was retired on Pender. It's  much different here and real life. I have a great job. I am part of a family and keep VERY busy. And it's quite stressful to tell you the truth. Not all things have gone "the way they should have" and I am dealing with many things as we all do in real life. Thus perhaps I am "vague" and I don't respond in lengthy letters. I am the same way with everyone. But my feelings never have changed, nor do my friendships.

Your stuff is on Pender and in very good safekeeping as it always has been and available anytime you want to pick it up, if that's what you want to do. My mom was waiting for your call last time but never heard back from you. She was going to ask if you wanted to stay and have dinner and invite you overnight perhaps. You guys could talk photography and about life and your mom and she would have spent some time with you. She cares for you. As I do.

In the last couple of days we all have been very, very sad. A dear Pender friend lost her son. He died suddenly the other day. Losing a child is the wrong order of things and is not the natural way it should be. We are deeply saddened for her, her husband and the whole community is in grieving. We may fly out for the funeral. It makes me think about my mom and dad when they lost my sister as a beautiful young woman and how horrible it must have been for them - and still is. I miss her.

Life is not easy for anyone. It's a myth that we are living a blessed life. We are all in the same boat. There are moments of good and moments of bad and somewhere in the middle we find peace and connection - and moments of joy.

I am a joy-seeker. I try not to dwell on the negative. Too many cloudy dark dog days as it is. I find it my peace in painting and photography and in Clem too. :)

Talking about that- we are rushing off to buy a bed as we have my sister coming this week and no room for her as the girls are living with us for a month... Clem's waiting for me. I do have to  run. ..

Namaste right back at ya.

Your friend,
Kim. xo